The parents of Intan* (17) have a grocery store at their home in a village in Poso, Central Sulawesi. Her mother’s daily routine involves managing the store and often assisting with services at the nearby church. Meanwhile, her father manages the store’s needs and is frequently away from home. This dynamic has caused a strained and awkward relationship between Intan and her father.
The tension between Intan and her father peaked when she was hit by his father in front of her friends. This incident was not without cause. At that time, her mother was unwell, and her father asked Intan to take care of her while he was out. However, upon Intan’s father return, he found Intan playing with her friends outside the house. Unable to control her emotions upon seeing this, he struck Intan. Shortly after the incident, Intan left home without informing her parents.
Asri (49) heard about Intan’s departure from neighbors and Intan’s friends. As a member of the Community-based Integrated Child Protection (PATBM) group, Asri and her husband immediately sought to locate Intan. The first thing Asri did was to meet the mother to understand the reasons for Intan’s departure from home.
Intan’s mother was initially hesitant to share but, after Asri approached her periodically, she eventually revealed the family issues and the sequence of Intan’s activities. She felt very anxious and worried about Intan’s safety. On the other hand, she also feared Intan’s return and the potential confrontation with her father. Seeing this, Asri reassured her that she would protect Intan once found.
PATBM is a community-driven movement at the village level initiated by the national government. In this village, the PATBM group was formed and assisted by Save the Children and Yayasan Panorama Alam Mandiri, in collaboration with local government, as part of a development program supported by Cargill. Through PATBM, village residents are supported to better understand children’s issues, identify children’s rights problems, and refer or assist in addressing these problems.
After being missing for a while, Intan finally returned home. At dawn, her mother brought Intan to Asri’s house to stay temporarily. This was because she feared that Intan might be hit again by her father and hoped that PATBM could protect her. Asri warmly welcomed both. Asri regularly engaged Intan in conversations while eating together.
After some time, Intan opened up to Asri, pouring out her feelings. Intan admitted that she didn’t want to go home because she didn’t want to be hit by her father, and she even planned to quit school. Upon hearing this, Asri advised Intan not to leave school. After empowering Intan, Asri eventually escorted Intan back home.
For a whole week, Asri visited Intan’s house every evening to discuss with her parents, fostering harmony and offering advice on family matters. Asri applied this family-oriented problem-solving strategy after she receiving case remediation training from Save the Children and Yayasan Panorama Alam Mandiri.
“You shouldn’t do that. Intan is your daughter. You shouldn’t reprimand your child, especially in front of her friends,” said Asri, repeating what she said to Intan’s father.
Additionally, Asri conducted child protection awareness sessions in the church after Sunday School. The hope was that combining family education with religious activities would facilitate parents’ understanding.
Her mother expressed gratitude for the presence of PATBM in the village. She often attended awareness sessions held in the church and became aware of the parent’s role in children’s lives. Despite the recent incident, she also felt closer to her daughter.
“I got explanations about the roles of parents and children. Because all this time, our relationship with the child was just ordinary. After the socialization, I knew how to get closer to the child. I hugged and got closer to the child again,” said Intan’s mother.
“I was already close to Intan before. But after this incident, I became even closer to Intan,” she added.
Intan felt relieved with PATBM’s presence. She became more open to sharing and expressing her feelings about her condition to the PATBM cadre. Intan remembered Asri’s words that made her feel comfortable and encouraged her to open up, “It’s okay, just talk.”
This made Intan feel calm and share things she had kept hidden from her parents. As a result, Asri could convey Intan’s opinions to her parents, and Intan became more open to talking with her parents. Currently, the relationship between Intan and her parents has improved, and they hope to better understand each other.
“I can talk and openly say to my mom that I like this, I like that. So, it feels calmer, more open without hiding anything. No mental burden,” said Intan.
*) Name is disguised for safeguarding reasons.